Friday, April 3, 2009
I love animals, simply for the sheer fact that I am astonished by life. I don't love animals because I wish I could live like them, or because they are always cute, or even because they like me (they generally don't and never have, and I don't know why). I love them because they are alive, in spite of the fact that they are sometimes dumb, annoying, scary, ugly, boring, or what; in spite of the fact that I got chased by a goose today, that the ducks think they can chase me now, that a bird pooped on my head yesterday morning. I still love them. There is a force inside of them giving them life, and I am in awe of it. Today I was tempted to pick up the worms that had found their way onto the sidewalks and save their little tiny lives. I honestly feel guilty that I didn't. This strange affinity for animals that has grown so much in the last year or so is a big factor in me deciding to not eat meat as much. I don't think I'll ever be a vegetarian, but I am definitely more aware now of the life that was taken so that I could live, and I try to stay aware of that.
I don't think I could ever even kill a spider again. In fact, I think that's where this affinity all started. Like most people I was freaked out by spiders but I was always the one to kill the gross things, without hesitation. A friend of mine once picked up a spider and brought it outside. I asked why he didn't kill it and he said that he likes spider, that they are solitary and mind their own business, "Just like me", he said, and they didn't deserve to die. It hit me then that he was right. They don't deserve to die. I couldnt squelch that life force out of them and for little to no real reason. This was also the friend that helped me save a giant ugly dragon fly and a tiny baby bird when he certainly didn't have to. I had always loved animals before but he made me realize that I should love them whether they give anything to me in return or not. He taught me a valuable lesson, I should probably thank him.
And so I really cannot wait for the day when I can have all kinds of creatures under my care, which is one reason why I want to have a farm, so there can be lots of room for lots of different animals.