My brain feels stopped up, like I have no access to the words I need to write an amazing paper. I start with a sense, with a feeling, with a little bubble of what I would like to express but I simply can't find the words. I end up using clichéd phrases, just whatever is easily retrievable, and it frustrates me. Why is my brain so sluggish? What sort of thing can I do to fix this problem? It was the same problem I had when I studied Italian. I knew the words; I could read a book in Italian or watch a movie, listen to a conversation, but when it came time for word retrieval, they simply weren't there. This makes me feel incredibly stupid, but I know that it is a matter of practice. I know that I just didn't practice speaking Italian enough, and now I know that I'm just not writing enough. Not only am I not writing enough, I'm not reading enough scholarly works.
I worry that I'm giving myself too many goals lately, but I'd like to add to the list reading an article every day. There's a particular style to scholarly work that I need to master, and so reading more articles and books will be helpful to me. I also need to read as much as I can about bodies, photography, World War I and Modernism since I am writing a dissertation proposal on the topic.
I've been so bored these days, but I realize that I have plenty to do. I have to put a lot of preparation and thought into these applications, and the more research I do into the schools and the programs and into my own interests the stronger the application will be. I've also got to be studying for the GRE and take that soon and I have to finish editing my thesis. I've taken a couple week break from that, and I need to get back to it.
I imagine these daily blog entries are going to end up quite boring, so here's something for your viewing pleasure. This is the bunny I will some day own.